"The Crack Where the Light Gets In: Working Towards Trauma Resolution in Couples Therapy"

Presented by NJAMFT Northern Chapter

 As we work with couples who seem stuck, hopeless, or unable to  follow through on clinical suggestions, let's take stock and ask  ourselves: have we fully explored the possibility of underlying  unresolved trauma? Many of our clients may have never voiced  their early life traumas, or be unaware of the ongoing impact of what we may refer to as smaller “t” traumas: frozen grief, the “ambient trauma” of a stressful home environment, parental divorce, illness, death of a parent, etc. In such cases, having a map of the territory - and clear ideas as to how to navigate through these painful minefields - can make all the difference.  

As marriage and family therapists, we are sought out by couples whose presenting issue may be addiction, low or absent desire, sexual difficulties, infidelity, communication struggles, withdrawal and/or entrenched conflicts. Some of what we are seeing can best be understood as traumatic reenactment.   A trauma-focused approach to couples therapy helps us to honor the ways these "cracks" or wounds reveal the painful areas where healing is needed most. And for that same reason these areas are the most fertile ground for meaningful insight and transformation.  

 Together we will learn to recognize the ways early attachment experiences in families of origin may have resulted in painful internalized core beliefs, as well as specific, mostly negative expectations about what relationships can provide for us.  As we learn to work with these concepts, we can better understand the ways trauma-based "enactments" may hinder and even sabotage not only the couple dynamics, but also the therapy process itself.   This day-long workshop will provide an opportunity to develop a game plan for skillfully unearthing individual traumas in the context of couples therapy.  Helping couples open up and explore these traumas (both big “T” and little “t”) can result in powerful breakthroughs in the therapeutic journey and shed light on the path towards effective trauma resolution. Workshop participants will have the opportunity to share cases and brainstorm, and to practice new trauma-focused treatment interventions. 

Participants will learn to:
A. identify trauma-based "internalizations" and "double binds" that may underlie ongoing, deep-rooted relational gridlock;
B. listen for signs of unhealed trauma by taking a thorough developmental attachment history, trauma-sensitive time line and genogram;
C. recognize "traumatic enactments," not only in the couples' interactions with one another, but also in the transference and countertranference dynamics with the therapist; and,
D. use "positive imaging" with couples, to help move them out of the painful darkness of traumatic reenactment towards envisioning a more resilient and loving relationship.

About Our Presenter: Lalita Salins is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in NJ and  NY and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist. (The American Association  of Sex Educators, Counsellors and Therapists).  Lalita has three decades  of clinical experience and expertise in trauma, sexuality and couples  therapy.  She was a founding member of Ottawa’s Centre for Treatment  of Sexual Abuse and Childhood Trauma and served as the Clinical  Supervisor of the mental health teams at the Ottawa Rape Crisis Centre  and the Wabano Aboriginal Health Centre.  She relocated to the New  York in 2011 area after 24 years as a practicing clinician in Canada.  As  an AAMFT Approved Supervisor, Ms. Salins offers clinical supervision at her Jersey City and NY Metro offices for therapists working towards certification and licensing, as well as workshops and clinical trainings for mental health professionals.